Breaking News from Washington — umbrellas now allowed at inauguration — but only short ones

Why the change in policy about umbrellas? It’s raining.

Why not long ones? They might be rifles.

What about shorts ones being pistols?

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“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness”

~ Albert Einstein

“Time is a great invention — it’s what keeps everything from happening all at once”

“We don’t try to keep up with the Joneses — who are the Joneses anyway?”

“Glitz and glam — not worth the bother”

“We’re giving a good name to a four-letter word — dull”

“The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer”

~ Edward R. Murrow

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there”

~ Will Rogers

“Slow motion gets you there faster”

~ Hoagy Carmichael

“While it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfilment in being ordinary”

~ Marilyn Thomsen

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