Carnforth Civic Hall gets new vacuum cleaner” — The Westmorland Gazette:

“A NEW vacuum cleaner has been bought for Carnforth Civic Hall as the old one was ‘no longer serviceable’, Carnforth Town Council heard at its recent meeting.”

Comments on the article:

•  “What next — a new kettle?”

•  “I’m thinking of coming up from Birmingham to see the vacuum cleaner [new or old one?] Could someone tell me what make/model it is and whether I need to make an appointment?”

•  “I’m grateful the news isn’t more exciting.”