Insult

Once in a rare while it might be OK for a dull man to say an insult. It should be done judiciously. Perhaps coating it with a bit of humor may lessen the pain.

A member recently emailed to us some amuzing insults. They are from a bygone era. They were used before using four-letter words (four-letter words other than “dull”) was the norm.

The title of his email was titled “When Insults Had Class.”

•  “He had delusions of adequacy.” Walter Kerr

•  “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Winston Churchill

•  “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

•  “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

•  “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”  Moses Hadas

•  “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” Mark Twain

•  “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” Oscar Wilde

•  “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” GeorgeBernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

•  “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one.”  Winston Churchill, in response

•  “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” Stephen Bishop

•  “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” John Bright

•  “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”  Irvin S. Cobb

•  “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” Samuel Johnson

•  “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” Paul Keating

•  “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”  Count Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

•  “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” Forrest Tucker

•  ‘Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” Mark Twain

•  “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork..” Mae West

•  “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde

•  “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts for support rather than illumination.” Andrew Lang

•  “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” Billy Wilder

•  “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho

•  Tell the truth and you’ll never have to remember anything. ” Mark Twain