What you yam might be a dull man . . .
- If gray is your favorite color
- If you enjoy reading this page on our website
- If you like to nap
- If you still dial and listen to a Speaking Clock [thanks to Steve R, London, for this]
- If prefer to ship UPS because of the colour of its trucks and uniforms
- If you like watching airport luggage carousels
- If, when in a hotel, you prefer a view of parking lot instead of a “beautiful view” like those shown in travel ads
- If you collect coat hangers
- If you’ve won a Straight Row Farming Contest [thanks to Claude Hopper, Ogallala, Nebraska, for this]
- If you like mac and cheese
- If you like meatloaf [thanks to Herb Aceous, London, for this]
- If you enjoy listening to water dripping
- If you enjoy watching tide going out and coming back in
- If you collect sand
- If spend Saturday nights organizing your book collection [thanks to Paul for this]
- If you arrange suits in your closet by shades of grey
- If you arrange food in your fridge by use-by dates
- If, when you’re at a railway crossing waiting for a train to pass by, you count the train cars
- If you arrange paper clips by sizes
- If you enjoy stapling papers
- If you wear both a belt and braces/suspenders
- If you like to watch tide coming in and going out
- If you like watching grass grow
- If you enjoy mowing grass
- If you record your lawn mowings
- If you like to watch leaves fall
- If you like raking leaves
- If the thing in your life you’re most proud is your compost pile [thanks to James Davison for this]
- If you like watching ice melt
- If you like watching snow melt
- If you like watching water freeze
- If you like watching grapes turning into raisins
- If you read The Economist instead GQ
- If you read Popular Mechanics instead of Maxim
- If you go to the shopping mall to walk, not to shop
- If you look forward to sorting your mail and paying the bills
If you miss MUZAK at the store or mall.
Now they play pop vocals. 🙁
But the good news is many people have posted MUZAK recordings on YOUTUBE.