What you yam might be a dull man . . .

  1. If gray is your favorite color
  2. If you enjoy reading this page on our website
  3. If you like to nap
  4. If you still dial and listen to a Speaking Clock [thanks to Steve R, London, for this]
  5. If prefer to ship UPS because of the colour of its trucks and uniforms
  6. If you like watching airport luggage carousels
  7. If, when in a hotel, you prefer a view of parking lot instead of a “beautiful view” like those shown in travel ads
  8. If you collect coat hangers
  9. If you’ve won a Straight Row Farming Contest [thanks to Claude Hopper, Ogallala, Nebraska, for this]
  10. If you like mac and cheese
  11. If you like meatloaf [thanks to Herb Aceous, London, for this]
  12. If you enjoy listening to water dripping
  13. If you enjoy watching tide going out and coming back in
  14. If you collect sand
  15. If spend Saturday nights organizing your book collection [thanks to Paul for this]
  16. If you arrange suits in your closet by shades of grey
  17. If you arrange food in your fridge by use-by dates
  18. If, when you’re at a railway crossing waiting for a train to pass by, you count the train cars
  19. If you arrange paper clips by sizes
  20. If  you enjoy stapling papers
  21. If you wear both a belt and braces/suspenders
  22. If you like to watch tide coming in and going out
  23. If you like watching grass grow
  24. If you enjoy mowing grass
  25. If you record your lawn mowings
  26. If you like to watch leaves fall
  27. If you like raking leaves
  28. If the thing in your life you’re most proud is your compost pile [thanks to James Davison for this]
  29. If you like watching ice melt
  30. If you like watching snow melt
  31. If you like watching water freeze
  32. If you like watching grapes turning into raisins
  33. If you read The Economist instead GQ
  34. If you read Popular Mechanics instead of Maxim
  35. If you go to the shopping mall to walk, not to shop
  36. If you look forward to sorting your mail and paying the bills